You may couple that making of amends with a request for forgiveness. We can go to them directly and work through it (or at least try). We believe that when you are paying for at least a portion of your stay at a facility, you’re living amends more invested in the recovery process.
Application Process
As you go further, you’ll start adding coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, and even random strangers. There isn’t one “right” way to make amends as part of your 12-step program, which might make you even more worried. Approaching step nine can spread anxiety and fear in the hearts of many of those going through the AA program. This is true regardless of whether you choose to take the living or the direct routes. Sometimes, simply contacting a person that you’ve victimized because of your addiction can hurt them again.
What is the organization aiming to accomplish?
Making amends offers profound and far-reaching benefits, along with the aa promises so often discussed. Successful amends can lead to mutual healing for both the one in recovery and those we have harmed. By acknowledging past wrongs and demonstrating a commitment to change, we can restore relationships and rebuild trust. This process fosters healing and resolution, providing clarity and relief from guilt for both parties involved. Living amends demonstrate personal growth and commitment to change in recovery. It’s an alternative when direct amends cannot be made safely or might cause more harm.
- I have had a wonderful life and amazing family, but instead of focusing on the tremendous blessings I had been given, I could only dwell in my disasters.
- Each situation in making amends with someone will look and feel different, depending on the nature of your past relationship and the type of harm caused.
- We talked about the complicated processes of self-forgiveness and self-compassion.
Making Living Amends in 12 Step Recovery
Person in long -term sobriety may make a commitment to their own recovery but get pulled away from their plan due to lack of financial resources. We want to help build the bridge from a residential treatment center into sober living. Step 9 of Alcoholics Anonymous often brings a mix of fear and hope. It’s the moment when we reach out to those we’ve harmed, not just to say “I’m sorry,” but to actively repair the damage. If you’re trying to find step 9 AA guidance that’s clear, structured, and meaningful, this article will walk you through what the step is, why it matters, and how to approach it with integrity.
- Mindfulness of both parties’ emotional states ensures constructive amends, fostering healing and resolution.
- Making amends can involve a direct approach or an indirect approach.
- They think a person will choose them over the usual, direct route to avoid the shame or embarrassment of saying sorry.
- In fact, two of the 12 Steps (8 and 9) are specifically about making amends.
- Our contract has to be signed and returned before the first month funds are given to the sober living facilities.
But if you are dealing with guilt and grief, you probably aren’t surprised that there is more to say. Somehow in all this guilt writing, we have never talked about making amends with someone who died. It would be easy to think there is nothing more WYG can write about guilt and grief. We’ve written about how common guilt is in grief (you wouldn’t believe how many people get the “coulda alcoholism symptoms woulda shouldas”). We wrote an article about the difference between guilt and regret.